such as my companions was; yea, gladly would I have been in the condition of dog or horse, for I knew they had no soul to perish under the everlasting weights of hell for sin, as mine was like to do. Nay, and though I saw this, felt this, and was broken to pieces with it, yet that which added to my sorrow was, that I could not find that with all my soul I did desire deliverance. That Scripture did also tear and rend my soul, in the midst of these distractions, "The wicked are like the troubled sea, when it cannot rest, whose waters cast up mire and dirt. There is no peace, saith my God, to the wicked" (Is. 57:20-21).

And now my heart was, at times, exceeding hard; if I would have given a thousand pounds for a tear, I could not shed one; no, nor sometimes scarce desire to shed one. I was much dejected to think that this should be my lot. I saw some could mourn and lament their sin; and others, again, could rejoice, and bless God for Christ; and others, again, could quietly talk of, and with gladness remember, the Word of God; while I only was in the storm or tempest. This much sunk me; I thought my condition was alone. I should, therefore, much bewail my hard hap; but get out of, or get rid of, these things, I could not.

While this temptation lasted, which was about a year, I could attend upon none of the ordinances of God but with sore and great affliction.

John Newton

The Rev. John Newton was awakened to a sense of his sinful and dangerous condition during a violent and long storm at sea. Although he was convinced that he was the greatest of sinners, and doubted whether it was possible for him to be saved, yet he had no deep heart-rending feelings or agitating fears. He writes:

It was not till long after when I had gained some clear views of the infinite righteousness and grace of Christ Jesus my Lord, that I had a deep and strong apprehension of my state by nature and practice; and perhaps till then I could not have borne the sight. So wonderfully does the Lord proportion the discoveries of sin and grace. For He knows our frame, and that if He were to put forth the greatness of His power, a poor sinner would be instantly overwhelmed, and crushed as a moth.

How do these two examples show clear differences in experiential depth and emphasis? Which experienced a far more pronounced and sustained experience of misery?